The Stadium

My dreams take me to some crazy places, taking full advantage of the space in my head and inventing huge elaborate settings. Last night the Sandman took me to this gigantic stadium where some kind of heavy metal cult band was playing. It felt like it was set sometime in the future. It was dusty, mechanical, and grungy. The lights were extremely tall and I kept seeing bright flashes in my eyes like driving fast on a freeway or in a hospital movie scene where they are rushing the patient to surgery. It all felt very peaceful though as if I was meant to be there. Not scared at all.

The part I remember most is a man that I fell in love with over the course of the dream. At the end he was carrying me laid across his arms while walking alongside a never ending chain link fence. It sort of reminded me of high school, walking along the outside of the school where the football fields were on game night.

Earlier in the dream I was going back and forth about the type of guy I wanted to be with. Being a strong independent woman I foolishly tried to fight my way through this metal grunge mosh pit battle by myself. Only to realize I needed help and caring for after I got beat up a couple times.

I remember this one point when several men were sort of arguing about who was the best. I watched and picked the one I thought was the most caring and helpful. I remember really not liking him at first though. He seemed cocky but over the course of the dream he did little things that won me over. Nothing crazy or noble or anything just made me feel safe and comfortable. He was the man that carried me not away from the mosh pit but back in to try again.

Symbolism: Stadium, Fence, Lights, Mosh pit. The symbolism here feels very much like how I see our world today. Very much heading towards this sort of post-apocalyptic style of life where the rules don’t matter and all you have is yourself and the ones that love you. The stadium and fence remind me of something I don’t really have control over, something I’m not allowed to be a part of or have a say in, and jumping in to the mosh pit is me forcing my way in. I am not sure about the lights. They were the peaceful part of my dream and I think they might be trying to tell me there is hope.

Being a woman is really annoying for me sometimes. I want to be a strong independent woman who can do anything but the truth is I have limitations. I train at a Muay Thai (Martial Arts) gym in my community. I really enjoy it and I feel really strong and powerful. Yet I still can’t even come close to being as strong as the men who train just as hard as me. I like the idea of finding someone that supports me yet also doesn’t coddle me and instead sends me back into the pit because they know I am strong on my own and can do it. It’s a frustrating balance sometimes and I think my dreams try to battle it out while I’m sleeping.

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